HAPPY New Year

What began as the happiest year of our lives became the month from hell, followed by roller coaster months of depression, and now ends as the year we learned and loved more than any other.

A year ago I welcomed the New Year with one eye open, snuggled up in bed with Ty. I had fallen asleep during our Friends marathon hours before midnight, but Tyler had quietly kissed me awake and rubbed my little bump, "Happy New Year. Welcome to the best year of our lives." It was the perfect way to begin the most perfect year. At long last, we would finally have what we'd always wanted.

I never could have imagined that 2 weeks later we would find out that our little baby's heart had stopped beating, that the thing we loved most in the world was suddenly gone.

To say this year was hard would be an understatement. My process of miscarrying was awful, to say the least. My body just couldn't let go of that little miracle... maybe I just needed more time. After 7 tiring days of bleeding, contracting, and indescribable pain I finally landed in the ER, hemorrhaging. Exhausted, heartbroken and scared, I was taken in for my first surgery in my life.

The 6 weeks of physical recovery were followed by months of emotional recovery for both Tyler and I. We each had to deal in our own way. Eventually, Tyler had to admit that he was angry with God, and face Him at last to repair their relationship. Eventually, I had to admit that my depression was crippling me and seek the help of medication.

And then, as the dreaded Holidays neared, we looked at each other one night and, surprisingly, realized we were Happy. 

At long last, we are really Happy. We still don't have what we'd been hoping for. We have no evidence to give us hope that this next year will bring us anything different than the last 3. We do not have the baby we'd expected to have. We are still missing a piece from each of our hearts. But the fractures are healing and it doesn't hurt as much just to breathe. When we smile it it real, and when we laugh it is the beautiful sound I've missed so much. We are finally Happy. Happy together and happy with this life. Despite it all, this life of ours is ours. It is still good. And we are still madly in love. The trials that could have broken us strengthened us. We survived a year we didn't think we could. And we are Happy.

This is still a good life.

XO.

Happy New Year!

DEAR 2013,

You have not been the easiest year of my life, but you have been life-changing. We shed all our tears this year, and somehow managed to still find more to fill our eyes. We learned more about ourselves and more about Christ than we ever have.

We entered year number 2 of infertility. After tests at the start of the year we discovered that my body rarely, if ever, ovulated on its own and my progesterone levels were too low to sustain a pregnancy. We tried Clomid, and quickly said, "NO MORE!" We took the summer off to forget about trying to get pregnant and just have fun!

We flew to CA just in time for our first nephew, Nixon Gregory Garrett, to be born on May 10. He weighed in at a perfectly chubby 9 lbs 15 oz. It was one the of the most magical days 2013 gave us. I will never forget that moment when my mom put him in my arms for the first time. I was absolutely overcome as I stared into the eyes of the newest love of my life. He was beautiful and the complete definition of perfection. He is the best thing that has happened to our family and we thanked the Lord for blessing us all with such a precious gift. He was the perfect Mother's Day gift for his Grandma, as well as having both of her children on Mom Day for the first time in 8 years!

We enjoyed a fabulously relaxing weekend in Bear Lake with the Kings. We rode bikes, soaked up the sun, built sandcastles, and forgot about all our stresses and cares. It was fantastic! 

We went to Moab with our awesome friends Darren and Larynn. It was a first for Tyler and I, and it was an absolute blast!!! Tyler got to take the Jeep up Poison Spider, we went hiking, ate at Milt's (DELISH!), and floated down the river like 5 times.

Throughout the summer we had to say goodbye to families that moved far away, and we didn't love it. My Aunt Lesley's family moved to AZ where my uncle Isaac will work on his Doctorate at ASU. My Aunt Kelly's family moved to Georgia where my uncle Curtis will work on getting in to Dental school. These were very hard goodbyes! But we wished them the best and looked forward to holidays and visits.

We also had to say goodbye to our best friend Brett. He moved to Flagstaff, AZ to work on a Masters in Psychology. We through him a "Hipster" going away party, which he loved/hated. 

After Summer ended, we found the RCC and continued fertility treatments. Dr. Swelstad helped us understand much more of what was going on in my body and what we could do to fix it. 

In October two absolutely amazing things happened!

First, the Kings took us to St.George for a fun weekend away, which included seeing Mary Poppins, the musical at Tuacahn. Brittany cried... a lot! And thought it was the most magical thing she had ever seen! 

We also saw Thriller at Tuacahn, which was also AWESOME

And the second Amazing thing that happened in October was that the Boston Red Sox won the World Series! 

There was much celebrating in the King house! 

We spent the holidays with our families and enjoyed every minute of it. We had a wonderful and trying year full of blessings and growth. 

Happy New Year! Love, the Kings

May your 2014 be wonderful!