Four Years Ago

Four years ago, about this time, I walked out of my bridal dressing room to meet Tyler and walk up to where we would be wed. I stepped out into the hallway, ready to take in this moment when he would see me in my wedding dress for the first time, but when I turned the corner and looked up at the man waiting for me it was... not Tyler. This red-headed stranger and I laughed as we realized the poor woman who had told us our spouses were ready was very mistaken. In her defense, what are the odds that another redhead couple was getting married about the same time on the same day? Easy mistake. I said I could just wait there for Tyler, but she insisted I have my grand entrance and hurried me back to the bride's room. When she returned, she promised she was sure she had the right husband for me this time.

I stepped into the hallway again, and when I rounded the corner, my eyes locked on Tyler's. There is something about being held in his gaze that makes me feel incredibly beautiful. As cliche and cheesy as it will sound, everything else melted away at that moment and I can't tell you too much about what else happened...

I know we made our way up the stairs somehow without tripping, despite not breaking eye contact. The room was crowded with our family and best friends, but I don't remember any faces. The Sealer spoke to us, and I'm sure he offered us some wonderful advice and I'm sure he said some beautiful words, but I can't tell you any of it.

I can only tell you that Tyler never stopped smiling and his green eyes became glassy every time he mouthed, "I love you" from across the altar. My skin burned and my stomach felt like it does before a plane's take-off. I couldn't believe this was really happening. I finally become aware enough to respond when the Sealer began the vows. There was an incredible ease in saying "Yes" that day.

Yes, I would be Tyler King's wife. Yes, I would stick it out through the tough times. Yes, I would work hard by his side. Yes, I would remain faithful with him and to him. Yes, I would love him endlessly, forever. It had never been so easy to promise anything.

Four years later, I still say "Yes" to all of it. These years have easily been some of the hardest we may have to endure in our lives, but love endures. We came out stronger and more in love than we were this day four years ago.

Tyler King is my best friend, my love for eternity. He is my strong foundation. He holds me steady when I cannot stand, and I'm generally clumsy and unsteady. He is all that is good and happy in this world. He makes sure I feel beautiful and loved every day.

I hope that he knows how much I love him. I hope that my efforts to show him how much he means to me are enough. He deserves only the best in this world, and he thinks that is me. He picked me! I'm still in awe. Gosh, I love him.

To infinity & beyond, Tyler king.
XO

I love September

*Deep sigh* The best month of the year has arrived. I love September. It represents the best beginning of my life.

The leaves are going to start changing colors. The air will get crisp, and we'll get gas station hot chocolate. That fall smell will fill the air. Cardigans, flannel shirts and slouchy beanies will make their way out of my closet. We'll celebrate Tyler's birthday, when we met and our wedding anniversary. We might even get our first snowfall. 

7 years and 2 weeks ago, I moved into my room at 3456 Iowa Avenue. It was the start of my 2nd year at WSU. There were 2 other empty rooms upstairs with me, and a few weeks later (cue September!) Lindsay Lula moved in. We instantly became attached at the hip and, one day, her friend Tyler King came to visit.

There was something about hanging out with Tyler that made me forget the seriousness of life and adulthood. He was 20 years old, didn't go to school and worked all night so he could play all day. He played the guitar, rock climbed, and loved to longboard. He drove an old Ford truck that he was always having to fix. It had a bench seat, and there was something great about the way he would pull me over to the middle and wrap his arm so tight around me. That semester of school was the most exhausting and most fun of all my college years.

We became best friends so fast, it was dizzying. He had just received his mission call, and in December he would leave for 2 years. I was waiting for a missionary that I was sure I would marry. So, we decided there was no harm in hanging out since neither of us expected much of the other.

At that time, Tyler was the kind of guy you dated just for fun. He wasn't serious about anything! I mean, we had our first kiss in our friend's living room while he played Grand Theft Auto. He paused the game, we kissed, and then he resumed stealing cars and running over pedestrians. We hung out every day, and talked on the phone all night. I don't ever remember sleeping. And I don't remember missing sleep either. He made everything exciting and made you feel like the world was a playground. He had no plans for the future, except maybe to be a professional rock climber or longboarder, which is totally hot to a 19 year old girl. He didn't see a future with me either, which meant he wouldn't "waste money on someone else's wife." Tyler only asked me along to places where he could get in for free and get free food and, to his credit, he was highly connected and you would be amazed how many free activities and meals he could get. Tyler was so much fun and he was my best friend.

However, Tyler did have these moments when he became the guy that was hard to resist...

The first snowfall of the season may not hit the valley, but usually sprinkles the mountains like powdered sugar. It was only my second year in Utah, so snow was still new and completely magical to me (It still is.) This particular day was no exception. I was just dying to see the snow in the mountains up close. I was a poor college girl without a car. So, that day Tyler picked me up from work and drove me up to Powder Mountain to play in the snow. I think I probably fell a little in love with him that day.

To put it simply, I was pretty clueless that September. I had no idea who I was. I acted like I did, like I had it all together. Truth be told, I was just a girl fighting to to keep my head above water. I was still sinking in the depths of my eating disorder, with an awfully tainted self-image. But Tyler King kind of saved me. He taught me so much. He made me realize what I was worth and what I deserved. Tyler was the kind of happiness you only get from a warm fire on a fall night, from the orange and red leaves, from gas station hot chocolate. He was like the first snowfall in September. 

He started this beautiful beginning we didn't even know was happening. That September would be the beginning of a life we didn't even know we would have. 

So, you see, how can I not love September?

XO.