Plans

Romans contains my favorite scriptures of all time. 

Romans chapter 8 is just full of good stuff. But the last verses of the chapter have brought me comfort during the hardest times in my life.

Romans 8:35-39

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution or peril, or sword? Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I may be a pretty disorganized person at times, but I do like having a plan. And what's hardest for me about all of this right now is not even having part of one, not even a little plan. Tyler, however, never needs a plan. He can switch gears, change directions at any moment and it hardly even slows him down. I lay awake at night going over and over all the possible scenarios for the next few months trying to decipher a variety of plans based on what they could, and hopefully will, tell us from the MRI we have scheduled. I look up each of the possible diagnoses and I research the possible treatments and I see how each of them begins with, and I hear how our doctor always prepares us, "if the infant survives." And it's all too much for a mother to fall asleep at night. I just can't. I can't plan this, because we just don't know enough, yet. And despite all my research and effort, I truly cannot make a plan for Max right now.

Tyler just has one plan: Get Max Here. By whatever means, to be determined, Get Max Here. And, really, that's it. That's the only plan. So, for now I need to learn to take this one step at a time and take that plan as it changes. Plan to fall asleep, plan to go to AZ next weekend, plan to have the MRI, plan to get the results, plan to make a plan based on those results. Plan to pray, plan to read my scriptures, plan to go to the temple, plan to hear the counsel of the doctors and the counsel of the Lord.
Whatever steps need to be taken, the only plan is just to get Max here and in our arms for however long the Lord has planned.
That is the plan.

...And whatever the plan, we will be more than conquerors through Him that loved us.