Dear Max, Happy Birth Day!

12:01 AM

It is officially November 17th. I am 34 weeks and two days, and today is your birth day, Max. I lay awake in bed, amazed that later this afternoon I will finally see you. At last, I'll hold you. After all this time and waiting, I'll get to see you snuggled in your daddy's arms.

This day is a welcome surprise! Yes, you are a little early to the party, but I can't say I'm that upset about it. I've been so anxious to meet you. I just want to see your face and hold you, so I'll know everything is alright.

1:28 AM

Yep, mommy is still awake. I just started getting my midnight munchies, but I'm not aloud to eat after midnight. I promise to let go of my hangry grumpiness once you arrive, but your poor daddy is going to have a hard time with me while I starve all morning. Anyway, I woke up to pee. Then I got side tracked taking my old chipped nail polish off. I really should try to sleep, but the anticipation is killing me, kid!

4:42 AM 

I wonder what its like on the other side, before you open your eyes here. Are you anxiously getting ready to come? Are you so excited to finally join us? Do you have lots of people to say goodbye to? Has your uncle Shaun been with you, watching out for you? There are so many things I wish you could tell me. I'll settle for a snuggle, though. I think I'll know everything I need to know when you wrap your little fingers around mine. The world will be still and everything will be right for a moment, then.

7:06 AM

Good morning, buddy! Only like 7 hours until we meet. We love you so much. Be so good! Stay strong. We'll be seeing you soon.

10:12 AM

We're heading to the hospital. Kid, this is for real! Our phones have been blowing up all morning. So many prayers are being said for you. There is so much love for you. I don't think you can even understand how many people love you and are praying for you. You are incredibly special, Max.

1:38 PM

Hey buddy, they're going to get you soon but, as you will learn, hospital time is always a little delayed. Some other baby had to come out much sooner, so we got bumped a little later. 

I'm so excited to meet you! If you hear Mom kind of freaking out (or having a total meltdown), just know its not about you. I feel so blessed and calm about you. However, going over to the OR and getting that spinal block is completely terrifying me. Mom is kind of a mess when it comes to that stuff. You are definitely strong and brave like your Daddy. I'm just more of a worrier, but not when it comes to you. Heavenly Father has made it clear to me that I shouldn't worry about you. You, my little one, are surrounded in the care of angels. This hospital staff and beings unseen to me are watching over you and are ready to help in whatever you need. How blessed are you? Lucky boy. 

Mom is just going to try to get ready to go. I'll see you soon. I love you SO!

5:31 PM

Max Carter King, at 3:09 today the world stopped. The nurse came around the curtain to where your Dad was cradling my head and helping me relax, "Okay Dad its getting close if you want to stand up and see." And then everything turned to magic, Max. All of my life, i have waited for this moment. The last 4 years, I've prayed to have this moment. The room got brighter and my heart started racing. Daddy said, "Okay Brit, he's almost here. He's almost here." And then it happened. I laid on the OR table and watched your Daddy's face, tears filling his eyes, as he watched you come into this world. "Brittany, oh he's here. He's here! Oh he's perfect, he's beautiful! He's here." In awe again, "He's here." I kept asking, "Is he okay?? Is he okay? He's not crying. Is he okay, Tyler?" Dr. Andres heard me and answered, "He's fine, Brittany. You won't hear him cry, but he is okay!" 

Our amazing nurse had offered to take Dad's phone for pictures, and I'm so glad. Just as quick as you came you were gone. Dad said they got you out, held you up for him to see and backed toward the window, trying to keep you in view for as long as they could, then passed you to the head NICU nurse. So, moments that seemed like eternity later, the nurse brought Dad his phone back and I was finally able to see you. Just like Daddy said, you are perfect. You are so much bigger than I pictured! Son, you are definitely not tiny or sickly-looking. You look strong! You are incredible. You are everything and I can't even begin to describe how I feel about you. I'll keep trying. I'm just so filled with love for you. And I'm just dying to finally meet you. They say they'll bring you by on their way to transport you to Primary's. So, I'll see you soon. Be good, buddy.

7:00 PM 

There is nothing I can compare it to. Your birth and the moment we finally met in person, are like nothing I've experienced. Moments in time that are so precious and sacred, I can only guess it must be comparable to heaven. 

The door opens to my postpartum room, and a team of the best flight medics roll in your incubator. I can't even breathe. I can see you. I am seeing you! I hurry, trying to sit up my bed and scoot close to the edge, my incision screaming at me. They raise my bed high so I can get closer. They plug you in, so they can stay for a little longer visit. You are hooked up to a million tubes and cords and the ventilator is breathing for you, but you are here. At last, Mommy is with you and staring at you. I am mesmerized. The let down the wall of the incubator, and they tell me I can gold your hand. Your perfect, tiny fingers wrap around my finger and you squeeze. 

And that's it. I'm your mother. My world has been completely changed and my heart will never be the same again. Max, you are a miracle we were never even sure would happen for us. But everything from your conception to arrival has been nothing but a miracle. After that 20 week appointment, we had wondered if you'd even survive. But you beat all the odds! And honey, here you are- 6lbs 7oz and 19 inches long. You are strong and beautiful and perfect. What more could I ever need? Daddy and I love you to infinity and beyond!