Resolve to know MORE

Resolve to know MORE 

National Infertility Awareness Week 2014

#Resolve #ResolveToKnowMore #NIAW

I sincerely hope that those who have followed us on our journey feel more educated about Infertility. I know that Tyler and I certainly had NO idea what infertility really meant before we faced it. Most of us figure we'll decide to have a baby, try for a few months, and BAM! We'll be pregnant. However, for 1 in 8 couples, it won't happen that way...
 And we are the 1 in 8.

I always thought that Infertility referred to those who could never have children, or if you were old and had been for trying for years and years. I never thought, at the age of 24, when I expressed concern to my doctor after trying to conceive for 9 months that she would recommend we start researching Infertility and begin treatment. How would I have known that my progesterone levels are practically non-existent? Or that I rarely, if ever, ovulate on my own?

So, almost 2 1/2 years and 1 miscarriage later, HERE WE ARE! 

Still crying, still hoping, and still trying.

What do you know about Infertility?

According to the World Health Organization: Infertility is defined as "a disease of the reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a clinical, full-term pregnancy after 12 months of regular unprotected sexual intercourse."

It is a disease. We aren't struggling, paying tons of money to get pregnant because we haven't relaxed enough. *insert eye roll & you-are-dead-to-me stare here*

According to Resolve.org: 30% of Infertility problems are male, 30% are female, 20% is unexplained, and 10% is a combination of problems with both partners.

Infertility affects 7.3 million people in the U.S., or 1 in 8 couples. (2002 National Survey of Family Growth)

But for couples enduring infertility, it is SO much more than scientific facts and statistics. It is heartbreaking. I have wanted nothing more than to be a mother since I was a little girl who played with her dollies. I was ALWAYS the Mom when I played house with my friends. I started babysitting my cousins when I was 9 years old. By the time I was 12, babysitting was my regular source of income, and by 17 I had a steady Nanny job after school. I always imagined growing up, graduating from college, getting married and having babies. That was my life plan... So when I had the husband and the degree, the next step was obvious.
We had no idea that we would be starting such a long journey. Infertility is different for everyone. For some, it takes years to get pregnant. For some, it takes medications to correct problems. For some, it takes expensive & invasive treatments. For some, it means that natural conception is not an option. For some, it means enduring numerous miscarriages. There are many different journeys, but they all cause heartache. They are all expensive and inconvenient and unfair. And while there is a growing community trying to raise awareness, it is still a very misunderstood disease. We are constantly bombarded with people who try to diagnose us, or tell us we're just overthinking it. We kind of want to punch those people in the face, just a little.

So, How do you know if it is time to see a specialist?

It is suggested to see a Reproductive Specialist after 12 months for women under 35, but after just 6 months if the woman is over 35. If you are looking for a great clinic in the Salt Lake City, UT area, consider Reproductive Care Center! Everyone here is so caring and genuinely invested in you. We have loved this office. When we found out we were pregnant they jumped and cheered with us. When we lost the pregnancy at 12 weeks, they cried with us. When we needed time to grieve before trying again, they supported us.

How can you support family/friends facing Infertility?

RESOLVE TO KNOW MORE! 

If your friends or family members are open with you about the medicines they are taking or the treatment they are undergoing, you can do research so that you can try to better understand what they are going through. You can check in with them to see how they are doing, be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen. Even if you haven't gone through Infertility struggles doesn't mean you can't be sensitive to their pain.

Now, not everyone chooses to be as open about their struggles as others. Not everyone is crazy enough to post his/her intimate feelings and struggles on the world wide web. Who has two thumbs and shares way too much information?
This girl!

If, that is the case, and friends or family have alluded to or only expressed limited details about infertility struggles, respect their privacy! Let them know you are there to support them, but don't bother them for details. Infertility is a very emotional and private matter for most couples, and the best you can do is just love them and pray for them. If you are announcing a pregnancy, be sensitive to those around you. Be understanding and share with them privately, send a note or an email. It's not that we aren't happy for you, but it is definitely nice to have private time to react. We want to be able to show you our excitement and support, but we might need a little time.

If you wonder why a couple may not have any children, DON'T ASK! I know I've been over this before, but I'll say it again, IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Some couples may not ever tell anyone about their infertility struggles. (Not everyone is going hashtag #infertility, sharing pictures of ovulation tests and blood draws.) They certainly don't need you to painfully remind them when you ask, "Why don't you have any kids yet??"

Resolve to know more.

Learn more, so you can be a better friend and loved one. Learn more, so you can be more considerate. Learn more, so you can be supportive. 

Thanks much from Infertiles everywhere.

XO


http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html 

What Boston Taught Me

To our sweet miracle baby, Boston:

I will forever be grateful for all that you taught me in the short time I had to carry you in my womb. Even though I will not get to hold you in my arms, I will always carry you in my heart. 

You taught me that the Lord hears and answers prayers:

For 2 years we hoped and prayed to start a family. In October, as the 2 year mark fast approached, I felt the weight of infertility crushing me and my grasp on hope was loosening. I prayed to Heavenly Father with all my heart to be pregnant. I felt like I would completely lose all hope if I had to go into 2014 still trying. I felt like I was teetering on the edge of my sanity, but I felt God promise me he wouldn't push me past my limits. The next month, we found out that we were, finally, pregnant with you! Now, we knew that we COULD get pregnant! We knew that Heavenly Father had heard our pleas, and he had blessed us.

You taught me about true love and how to feel pure joy:

When I married your Daddy I thought nothing in this life could feel happier than that, and that I could never be more in love than I was that day. Well, when those 2 blue lines told me you were part of our family, when we heard your heartbeat, when my bump started to show, I couldn't even begin to find words to describe the joy that filled my heart. And Daddy and Mommy fell more deeply in love with each other, because we fell hopelessly in love with you. Just 2 days before we found out we lost you, Daddy had swung me into his arms and swore he had never been so happy in his entire life, and that I had never been so beautiful. Thank you for that, baby.

You taught me to be brave:

For the first time in my entire life I wasn't afraid. For once I didn't let stresses or worries get in my way. I enjoyed every moment that I carried you! I fearlessly believed that I had nothing to worry about. I never once worried I would lose you.

At first, when we found out we lost you, I felt guilty. I felt like I should have known. I thought I was a terrible mother, How does a mom not even know her baby died? But I came to realize that had I known and spent what little time we had worrying, like I normally do, I would have never enjoyed my 12 weeks of pregnancy. Oh, I enjoyed it so much! It was beautiful and amazing. I can't believe I ever thought for a moment that I was showing too early. Now, I am so grateful for my little bump that meant I had you growing inside me at one time. 

You taught me to believe:

More than ever, without a doubt, I know that God exists. The ability to create life is a remarkable gift from God. How else could it be that you formed from this tiny part of Dad and this tiny part of Mom? It is absolutely by divine design. As my body started to change, I felt so much closer to the Lord and believed in Him so much more. 

You taught me about Miracles:

You are the greatest miracle of our lives! You came in to our family just when we needed you and, even though you couldn't stay, we will always be grateful you came. 

You taught me about my Savior:

Losing you was both the worst and most spiritual experience of my life. I felt my Savior by my side every second that my heart was breaking. He picked up the pieces of Mommy and Daddy's hearts and put us back together. His atonement lessened our suffering and freed us from the anguish of guilt and anger. His love helped us survive. 

Baby Boston, I carry you in my heart forever. I'm so grateful for the lessons I've learned from you. I know that is why you came. You came to teach me; to make me better. 

Love,

Mommy