This is still a GOOD LIFE

When you have been trying to conceive for almost 3 years, eventually, you have to start looking for the silver lining. And trust me, its there. So, if may be honest, there actually are some perks to the childless years. There could be more if we weren't going broke trying to get pregnant, but we'll take what we can get! Not a dime we've spent on infertility could ever be called wasted, and we've decided not to let any of this time we've been given be wasted either.

Unfortunately, I did waste a lot of time in the beginning of our journey wishing for a different life and missing what was right in front of me. Well, not anymore!

Last Friday night I got home and started rummaging through the fridge, wondering what I should cook for dinner. Tyler called with a proposition, "Let's go camping!" The boring adult in me immediately responded, "It's already 7 o'clock, we're not packed, we don't have anything ready to go camping." Obviously disappointed, Tyler agreed and said he'd be home soon. After we hung up I started thinking...

Why couldn't we pick up and go camping? What responsibilities did we have?Besides laundry, dishes, house chores and all that stupid nonsense. What was keeping us home? We had no plans, camping is practically free (unless you go all out on camping treats, which we did!) and it was supposed to be a beautiful night with a full moon.

By the time Tyler got home, to his great excitement, I had the bedding piled in the living room and an overnight bag packed and ready to go. We threw everything in the jeep, stopped at Maverick for firewood, hit the grocery store for snacks, and headed up to Avon. We crossed our fingers that our favorite spot would be open, and it was! We set up camp as the sun set and started cooking dinner.

We settled in by the fire, roasting marshmallows under the moon's bright light. We talked and laughed until the middle of the night. This, right here, was perfect.

 

We couldn't just pack up and run away if we had a baby, and we certainly couldn't be doing this if I was 9 months pregnant. Does it change that I'd rather be 9 months pregnant? or at home snuggling a baby? No, of course not. But I'm not pregnant and we don't have a baby. So, should we feel guilty about enjoying things that are out of our control? NO! Do we have every right to still enjoy this life and have adventures? YES!

When it comes to infertility, there can be so much that is unfair and heartbreaking. You have to do your best to find the difficult blessings  you deservedly earn for enduring to the end! I thought July would be the hardest month of my life, but Tyler and I are happier than we've been in years! We have finally figured out that we are allowed as much joy as anyone else, with or without children. We're not wasting away the days wishing for a better life, because despite how hard it can be, this is still a GOOD LIFE! It is a great life! 

Live the good life.
XO